i figured it’d be best to write on a whim now that i find it impossible to write long journal entries. i won’t force it anymore. from today on i am letting go and just sharing whatever i can when the right words come or the heart calls for it. nothing complicated, just the real me and my random, raw ideas on simple days. i’m calling this little category under my journal: today.
my mind is a beautiful wreck right now. ideas are drowning me over and over every single day and because of this the future gets a little less hazy but a hundred times scarier. in good ways, i’d like to think. but nowadays i just feel exhausted. nobody said being inspired like this meant dying a bit inside too. balance, then again. i’m trying to unlearn and relearn this concept everyday.
in an attempt to give myself a nice ‘break’ the other day, i watch eat, pray, love. and for the third time around, i’m not surprised i still can’t finish it. is it weird that i get bored watching movies?
my favorite part so far: dolce far niente. i giggle a bit at this part of the movie when the characters start to talk about this italian term that frankly means delicious idleness. i think ‘dolce far niente. i so badly need this right now… but i can’t stand just sitting like this and staring into a screen’, so i stop the movie and start going on with work.
the truth is i’ve been dedicating crazy hours working on a big passion project on the side for many months now. it’s been growing and taking more of my heart until i realized it’s time, i’m ready to let these dreams come to life now. and along with many other changes, that means photography has to take the backseat in my life for a while. six months to be really honest.
at first i was worried. in my head i think, people will say that i’m so indecisive again and wasn’t it my humble dream to just take photographs and write the rest of my life to support myself? i pinch myself hard and tell myself that it’s okay. i’m not changing life courses completely, this is just my passions evolving into something bigger, something deeper, a more potent, more magical kind of art form. i just have to let it go for a while until i can come back and create some more.
i can’t say much yet. i’ve been quietly working and dreaming away wherever i find myself the past months and it has just been so amazing. my little ideas have been growing into something so deeply moving and i can hardly believe nor fathom all of it. it may seem vague but in time i will get to share too and i just wish for this to touch as much people as it can.
so if you’re reading this, whether you are a friend, my family wherever you may be in the world, followers and secret friends i just haven’t met yet, fellow creatives or really just fellow human beings, this will be a huge feast of life and it will come quick so please please, pray with me every day, for more love and strength and energy to keep wanting to do all good even though it may get tough. send me some love and positive vibes in any way you can and i promise to send you some good vibes in return. let’s surprise each other x