How silly of me to come back home and think it’s all going to be easy. I planned for September to be a month full of living and sharing. Now half the month is gone and life has been full since but really being alive means being away most of the time and sharing becomes almost impossible. I’ll keep trying.
You might know this month is a bit special to me. Some days ago I turned twenty and I spent the day doing things for myself. In the afternoon I have my hair colored to a nice shade of chestnut brown. I look at my twenty year old self in the mirror and see a strong, growing girl. All I really am is blessed.
It’s unreal. Twenty years. That’s a long time when I really think about it, even more because every single day I do my best to really live. Funny that I had this weird passing feeling that being a year older will make me feel different. And then when the day came, I giggled a bit whenever I remembered because I felt utterly the same.
That night I have my fingers placed on my keyboard, stunned that I have nothing to say. So I post a portrait I took of myself instead and wrote
“i thought i would have epic things to say as i turn twenty. but sitting here now, in front of my laptop for about an hour now, i honestly don’t have much to say. or probably too much everything’s just a big fat blur. at the end of it all, i’m just grateful. i am myself today because of you, because of the beautiful people who let me in their lives, the little moments and experiences that allowed themselves to be seen and experienced by me. all the emotions that have allowed me to feel so mad and crazy and silly and happy and confused and miserable and so, so, so alive. so thank you, thank You, thank you universe. i am privileged.”
And it’s true. It’s so so true. If you don’t know yet, I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore and at the core it’s really just because every single day should be a big fat giant celebration of life.
My life has never been perfect but it’s so full. And it’s not even about me. It’s about all the beautiful moments, crazy experiences, painful goodbyes, all the heartfelt conversations, downright crap days, epic nighttimes, silly problems, all the kindhearted friends-turned family and family-turned-friends, all the people who have come and gone and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I am who I am now because of all of these fleeting people and experiences. And along the way I’ve discovered principles that I hold close to the heart I wear on my sleeve every single day.
So I share, as I usually do, twenty lessons at twenty years old for my twenty-year old self to remember, and for your to think about as well. Click on each bullet to find full posts x
TWENTY AT TWENTY
• Treat your time, energy and love like you do money. You have to invest them in all the right places.
• There is power in contentment.
• You can’t do it yourself. Life is much about others as much as it is about you.
• Talking down others or the way they choose to do things doesn’t make you any better than they are.
• Acknowledge your weaknesses.
• Keep your circle as small as possible.
• Writing can save your life.
• Having more and doing more does not equate to happiness.
• Balance should be the goal.
• Positivity makes all the difference.
• Don’t try to fly before you have wings.
• Embrace change. Your space, your friends, your opinions.
• Stop comparing your story to other people’s.
• No one else can tell you how to live your life. Be real, be you!
• Be grateful.
• Keep your name clean.
• It all comes down to love.